Let’s get a few things straight.

I do not consider “wordpress” to be my family. This is not some silly imaginary family/community for me.
I have a real family. I also have real friends.

This was supposed to a place for me to WRITE. I’m a WRITER.

No, for real.

I am not looking for “friends” and I do not play by anyone’s fucking rules but my own.

I am who I am. I am a person who WILL speak out about ABUSE and if someone is being predatory. I take on full responsibility when I do that because I put the stamp of my REAL NAME on it. I know what LIBEL is, I am well versed in dealing with abusers and what I can and can’t do with regards to information that is MINE.

I appreciate those who came here and supported me in outing Eric. It seems that he hurt a ton of people, and this place offered those people a platform to voice that.

For those of you who think that you are going to bully me like we are in high school. You have another thing coming. This is my fucking blog. My fucking space. My fucking rules within the scope of the motherfucking law. Get it? I am not here to be  your fucking friend.

All comments on previous posts are now turned off. You want to have a conversation? Go have one. On YOUR blog.

Because I’m not wordpress savvy I don’t know how to turn off comments to this post. Just know that I won’t approve any of them.

I will come back when I feel like I want to WRITE again. Because that’s what I came here to do. And if someone else thinks it’s okay to fucking say sexual things to me when I’ve clearly asked them not to, I’ll fucking post that email too.
I’m NOT your friend. This is not my “wordpress gaggy fucking family”.

And if “wordpress” the company has a problem with that, then I’ll go back to self-hosting. Except, I think “wordpress”, the fucking company, is JUST FINE with what I choose to do here.

Have a good weekend. Try to live a life or something.

Get a fucking dog. Adopt a child.

Do something meaningful.

HAVE A FUCKING PURPOSE FOR BREATHING other than pretending like this is some fantasy world where we are all in school again, whispering behind each others backs and picking fights in the cafeteria.

DO SOMETHING WITH YOUR LIFE EXCEPT BREATHE EMPTY WORDS ONTO A COMPUTER SCREEN.

MAKE A CHANGE. and stop calling yourself a hippie, for fuck’s sake. When you lie down in the middle of the street for a fucking CAUSE that you really believe in. THEN.

MAYBE.

UNTIL THEN. SHUT THE FUCK UP. Because you’re giving my father, a True Hippie who fucking marched for social causes all over the country, a bad name.

(It may have turned him into a heroin addict, but still.)

***meow.**** glitter. ***

Regarding YOUR GOD:

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39 comments

  1. I’m new to your blog, found you because of the kerfuffle, I guess we can call it. Anyway, I think you’re brave, and I’m not surprised you’re catching a lot of heat because that’s what these folks always did, right? I wasn’t shocked that two adults might exchange a few naughty words over the interwebs, what stunned me was your “outing” of the Mean Girls culture within that group of bloggers. Didn’t we leave that shit back in high school? Unfortunately, I think there was a lot of hyperventilating and pearl-clutching over the dirty words and lots of folks haven’t paid attention to the fact that there were many, many, many concerted efforts to shut down and shut up bloggers.

    Anyway, don’t let them shut you up.

    1. Hey Karen, thanks for the reply. I would like to just clarify, because I think it’s extremely important for the information and what I’ve said here to be understood exactly as it happened: I NEVER said any naughty words to Eric, my only regret with regards to that post was to elaborate on what my definition of “lightly flirting” means. For me, that was sending him a pic of my cigarettes, asking him to send me links from his blog so I could get to know the person behind the screen, and that I enjoyed talking music and movies with him. I know, it sounds kind of silly, but I think I’m a little old fashioned that way. For me, I shouldn’t have even been talking to him in any other capacity other than professionally since I’m married. I never once engaged in ANY sexual banter with him. When he said those things to me, they were always out of left field and over the top. When I asked him to stop, he went pushed even further, crossing my boundaries. As someone who just wrote a story for him to showcase on BBW about how I had been sexually abused, in my eyes, that’s predatory, gross, and an abuse of his online power.

      As for the rest – yes, I agree. Thank you for stopping by.

    1. cackle I can be quite good at it when provoked with hate mail that is just shy of telling me to go kill myself. It says in the title. My myriad faces. I kind of feeling like renaming the blog “she’s a shit-kicker not a boot-licker”.

  2. I know you are not accepting comments, but I’m hoping you read them. I’m sorry you have had shit thrown your way, in a major way! I loved your post on Black Box and have loved what you have to say since. I appreciate you as a writer. All the other shit… well, it doesn’t matter if I agree, disagree, support or don’t. You’re right. We’re not a family. Many of us think we know each other and don’t. I’ve felt pretty alone in the game many times! Totally outside the “in crowd,” only to realize that this is not high school and I don’t have to put myself in that position. I have climbed each step on my own and worked hard for my blog to gain support. You are doing the same thing and unfortunately, there has been some serious ugliness in the process. But there is a lot of good on WP and it’s clear from most of the comments that you have lots of support. You ARE a writer, and a survivor. So write on; right on Rachael.

    1. Thank you for that. I’ve read some of your own posts and have enjoyed your own musings. A lot has transpired and in that process, even I have reevaluated what I want to do here, and how I engage online. I am very new to this blog world and my eyes were opened pretty quickly, almost shockingly so. I want to move forward and take with me that knowledge.

      I appreciate your words of encouragement and especially your kind words regarding my writing, it’s something that I hold dear.

  3. I have a terrible time trying to figure out, from wordpress, how to do anything on wordpress. If I were to try to figure out how to disable comments, I’d go outside of wordpress and google, or whatever, “how to disable comments on wordpress”. I’m lucky in that I haven’t so far had more than a couple trolls; I disapproved them of course, but one was so creepy that I deleted the entire blogpost, which was just mostly a retelling of a favorite joke I had heard. I don’t get the whole trolling mentality with people. I think I’m stupidly condescending in my comments at times, but I like to think it’s because I over-explain things, things that I’m sure people got in the first place. Or something.

    1. ha yes, I’m still learning. You know, I put “ramble on” as my comment button because I do the exact same. Sometimes I over explain because I’m assuming the other party doesn’t understand what I’m trying to say and sometimes I tend to speak using metaphors and symbolism.

      Thanks for stopping by!

  4. Reblogged this on You've Been Hooked! and commented:

    To say this has been a strange week on WordPress is like saying Lizzie Borden was merely “acting out”.
    It’s been CRAZY around here, folks, but I have no interest in wading into this unmitigated disaster. However, I do love a good rant – especially when it serves a purpose and reflects my own sensibilities regarding the blogging biz.
    Rachel is a gal who knows who she is and what she wants.
    I like that.
    I think you will too.

      1. LOVE your ranty side!
        I admire your courage and tenacity. You’re a wonderful writer and I’m sure your future is going to be filled with many sunny days, Rachel.

  5. I can explain how to turn comments off if you like? It’s easy….while in a new post or editing a post click the screen options tab at the top and select discussion or comments (can’t remember what it’s called). Then the option will appear below your post to allow comments and track backs. Just deselect the comments box to turn off.

  6. You are winning this battle. Don’t let them mute you. The sites have been shut down. The FB page is gone. You have effected change. You have many admirers, me included and I’m so cool. Take the weekend off. Let the dust settle.

  7. Well. If there are bullies still at it out there, please get a life. I think enough damage has been done. You are not helping anyone, you are just being vindictive and mean-spirited.

    Calamity, as you say, this is about writing. I am going to get back to writing.

    1. Trent, the bullies are doing even weirder things, but now it’s time to focus on my own blog not the middle-school recess time nonsense. I’m glad you and I had a chance to talk, Trent. I think you are a kind soul, like a few other people I’ve met. Just know that while I think that about you, I don’t feel the need to create a club of sorts. I mean, we can support each other by just visiting blogs and offer up comments of support or whatever.

      I actually think I’m ditching my bad ass bitch badges. I find that those types of things can be exclusionary and it’s a “schtick” and I’m not really into “schtick”. My glasses were fogged for a few weeks. It seems WP has enough “badges” to go around. I won’t be adding to its inventory. I want my blog to speak for itself due to the words within in it, not because I coax people with “prizes” only offered to cool kids.

      Revelations.

      1. That makes total sense. I’ve always been interested in what people say, and hopefully (perhaps) they will read what I have to say. That’s the best part of this place, and to me the core of it, and that’s where I want to put my energy. I agree, cliques and the like are just distractions, and don’t have any real substance. They take away from the words. And words is pretty much all I got.

      2. Revelations indeed. I’ve decided to not do a few things I had planned for my blog, too. Things that in light of all this, feel exclusionary. I was learning from a “mentor” who wasn’t very wise.

    1. I have always known that about you. not that you lobby legislators, that would be weird if I knew that. You are as hip as they get. Next to Nicki Daniels. ha! Just kidding. That chick just cracks me up and good grief, I feel like she and I have been friends forever instead of a couple of weeks. I mean, I cyber-met her mom!!! Still, ya know, this is just another form of socializing except it’s pixelated and no one knows truly who is behind the “persona” because this “thing” allows for such. It allows for anonymity, it fosters imagination where people create personae and characters and we have to remember that. It’s easy to get caught up in fantasy land.

          1. Ok I’ll tell you just to lighten up the mood for everyone. I used to drink. A lot. And when I would get VERY drunk, I wanted filet o fish sandwiches. Nothing else would do. I was leaving a dive bar years ago and next door was this ultra cool club with all the douches waiting in line outside. One of them yelled rude comments at me. So we went to McDonalds a block away, I bought a huge sack of filet o fish sandwiches with extra extra tartar sauce, ate two, and made my friend do a drive-by that club so I could pelt everyone in that line. Fifteen years later, they still call me filet o fish. And Spongebob Pisspants. But that’s a story for another day…

      1. That’s so true. It easy. Just like real life–we all create our projections and perceptions.

        You lifted the veil and broke the silence for a LOT of people and I think many people are grateful and relieved to find they weren’t the only ones, and that they weren’t crazy. Most people haven’t been gaslighted. I’m sure many other people are in denial bc they don’t want to believe they were fooled, or that someone they trusted and admired was not that ‘someone’ at all.

        This must have been such a draining, difficult experience for you, but just know that you’ve done the right thing and most people know that. Two different bloggers I correspond with have shared their experiences with me—one starting well before your post. We had discussed the narcissism for a long time. It takes being abused and having healed to be able to recognize it.

        And yes, I’m an activist on a lot of things. We probably don’t agree on a lot of things politically but I’m okay with that 😉

        Hang in there.

        So—thank you.

        1. Thanks, Kylie. It is draining, especially when one feels alone. And I know that I received a lot of support on the blog and so many women spoke up and I’m grateful for the support and that I was able to offer them a platform. But when I was the only one to receive private emails ranging from private issues that had to do with Clown where he crossed a line or bullied to receiving anonymous hate mail – it reminded me that I am Literally – alone – while doing all of this. It became exhausting. And my mind had no time to rest in order to think clearly. The online world is very different, because there is really no accountability.

          I always appreciate your thoughts, Kylie – you’re a wise woman and I respect that. Even if we have a few differences in political views. wink

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